A friend or a lover
by JLove
Summary: There 4 girls have to hide there secret of being girls but can they when love strikes?
1. 'Cockly'

-I know the streets are not real names. I have a pile of books next to me and I am looking at the author's last names.

-I am not sure if they had movies back then, but I am not the biggest history buff.

  
  


You know that feeling when you first wake up in the morning but you haven't quite opened your eyes yet? The feeling when your half asleep and half awake. And out can slip into a dream world that you control. Do you know that feeling? I love that feeling. In my dream world I am pretty, rich, and have a boyfriend. I hate to open my eyes and see the face of me staring back in the mirror. I sighed. If I didn't wake everybody up, nobody would. So I got up, I staggered a little bit across the room still wearing off the 'celebration' of last night. I took advantage of everybody sleeping and got in the shower first.

Actually the shower is in the one and only room. We call it the 'pleasant room.' But it is anything but pleasant. There is a closet. That holds the toilet, so when the lantern isn't lit we are in trouble. Us four girls (Amber, Missy, Jerrie, and I) share the rent for this room. There is a bunk bed (Amber sleeps on the bottom and I sleep on the top) in one corner, a pull out couch that almost serves as a bed unless company comes over (Jerrie sleeps on that) against a wall in the back, and a small bed in the other corner (Missy sleeps on that one). There is a little counter space and some pots and pans. It is far from great but all of us except Amber have lived on the street so we don't complain. I got out of the shower and draped an old scratchy towel around my body. I looked at the clothes. There was a big pile that we all shared. I wasn't sure what to grab. It was a big day.

"What do guys wear?" I said quietly. Apparently not quietly enough because I turned and saw Missy sit up. She was pretty. Why cant I be like her? She has long curly blond hair and is really thin.

"Just look like you rolled out of bed." She said getting up but falling. She got up and went to the old cracked mirror.

"If that means how you look now, no thanks. They can keep their job." I replied thinking I was smart. She just gave me the finger and laughed. I picked some old pants and a tee shirt. And of course an old newsies cap I used to pile up my short blond hair into. We all cut our own hair and let's just say I am not as skilled with cutters as the others are. "Hey Amber! Jerrie, get your asses out of bed now!" I yelled. A thump came from the wall. "Sorry Mrs. Kirchoff!" I yelled again. She is the old lady who is the landlord. She kinda smells. "Ouch!" I yelled as a pillow hit the side of my head. I didn't even half to look, it was Jerrie. So I replied by throwing it back. They both sat up as Missy got out of the shower. They both dashed for it at once but Jerrie made it first.

"Why are we getting up so early?" Amber asked.

"You don't remember? We have been planing it for like a week." I answered in a smart alic tone.

"Oh yeah." The sewing shop we all worked at closed and we needed new jobs. So we were all going to pretend to be boys to be newsies. I don't know why she didn't remember it. She thought of it. She is the smart one. She was also the quiet one. And I would kill to look like her. She had long straight brown hair. Blue eyes. Beats my ugly brown eyes. And she had a shape. I was smaller than everyone.

"Do you think we can hang out with the cute newies?" Missy asked

"Oh I know! That one that is built who sells by Turo street! Oh!" Jerrie said stepping out of the shower when she heard conversation about guys. Amber stepped in and they got dressed as I sat there. I should make the beds. Oh well. Everybody calls me somewhat of a slacker.

"Do you remember the newsies strike last year? The leader. That is the cute one." Amber shouted over the shower noise. Oh no! I thought he was cute. I can't compete with Amber! Jerrie started to brush her medium length hair. It was this really an cute reddish color.

"Guys we have to leave in like ten minutes." I reminded them. 

"Hey Gwennie," That is me, "How much do papers cost to buy?" Missy asked. None of us knew the answer.

"We will just bring a little money." Amber said stepping out of the shower. She hates walking the streets with a lot of money because she got jumped once.

"Are we ready?" Jerrie asked. We all said yes and left. I must say I looked better as a boy than a girl.

~~~~~*~~~~~~~

We peaked passed the brick wall of what looked like the paper office. There were around twenty boys there. The one who led the strike last year was one wall away from me! Their ages range from 6 to 18.

"So who got some last night?" One asked. They all laughed. I finally picked up the nerve to strut in and then lost it again remembering-

"How do boys walk?" Amber said copying my thoughts.

"Just um," Jerrie replied "Just walk cockyly."

"Cockly like?" I began.

"No." She snapped then I swear she whispered something about me being a pervert. I got it started and we all walked out. Way to 'cockly' so we just walked somewhat normal.

"Who is youse?" One boy asked. He was around 15 and wearing a pink shirt.

"We's new in this here part of town." I said trying to be the leader because if I wasn't that I was a nobody. "And," I stammered. Missy kicked me. "And we uh, want to be newsies." He looked me up and down. And then he called for somebody named Jack. Oh my God! The cute one was walking this way! Settle down Gwen. I thought over and over. Jack what a cute name.

"What is it?" He said. 

"These here guys say there new. Can we trust um?" Them Jack looked us up and down a couple times.

"Yeah you buy papes over there. If you kneed to lodge the house is over there."

"Oh ok." I said letting my voice go to its regular tone. So I quickly did my boy voice again. We went and stood in line. We got to the front. I went first.

"Yes um, 50 uh, papes please." I asked. The man looked at me kinda funny an finally got my papers. Next up was Amber who stayed very close to me. 

"40." She got them. Jerrie got 40 and Missy got 50.

"Wait what are youse guyses names?" The guy in the pink shirt muttered. 

"I'm Jeffery" I said .

"Brett." Missy said.

"The name's Steven." Said Jerrie.

"And I'm Andy." Said Amber. We rehersed on the way over here. 

"Yeah well nobody is selling over by Myrer square today so's ya guys can take that if you want. It's your best bet." Jack said before leaving. So we began our first day at our new jobs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey extra! Car crash on Harr avn! Hey! People!" I shouted in vain. I had only sold twelve papers and it was almost noon. And I am pretty sure those people got the papers because they felt sorry for me. I wonder how the everybody else is doing? Oh my gosh Jack! He is half a block away. I could hear him shouting.

"Extra extra! Car crash results in major injury!" Where was that story?

"I'll take one." A man said buying the last of his 100 papers. How does he do it? He started to walk toward me.

"Not doing so well Jeffery, that's it right?" He asked.

"Yeah it is and no it isn't." I replied. It took him a moment to comprehend what I was saying.

"Here is what you gotta do. You bend the truth." He explained to me. I felt so stupid.

"All the rest of the boys and I go get lunch a Tibby's. Wanna go? You can finish afterward. And on the way I'll explain bending truth."

"Well my friends-" I started but he interrupted me.

"Some of the other guys probably told them to go there for lunch." So I agreed. And we started a walk to Tibby's. I wanted to take of my awful hat but my awful hair would fall down.

"So you guys are from?" He started but I began to panic. We hadn't thought of this.

"Arizona." I lied. It was the first place I could think of.

"Really where in Arizona?" He sounded a little excited. "Isn't Arizona close to New Mexico?" Oh no! I don't know.

"Um, we are from Denny Arizona." Oh my god! Is that even a place? What am I saying? "Yeah it is kinda close. We moved here four years ago but never got to going up to this part of town." I don't even know where New Mexico is! "So are youse from here?" I quickly changed the subject before he asked any more questions.

"Yeah." He sighed. "I have almost never been out of Manhattan. So are youse guys brothers?"

"What, oh! Yes. I mean no!" I was so caught up in conversation I forgot all about my 'boyishness.' "No, me and Brett," That is Missy, "are cousins and Steve and Andrew are our friends." And that was the way it really is. "Do you have any siblings?" 

"No. So are you guys gonna live in the Lodging House? Do you have parents?" What is with his questions?

"We have an apartment in downtown by Kanter street. And um," What do I say what if Amber said we had parents to somebody and Missy said to somebody that we didn't? We uh, don't. Lived on our own for four years now." And it is the truth. I found it best not to lie to him to much. "It that Tibby's?" I said pointing to a small diner across the street. I hope it is. I can smell fries. 

"Yeah that is." He said grabbing my hand as he pulled me across the busy street. His hands were soft. We entered the diner. It was packed to the brim with newsies who stopped in for lunch. Do I follow Jack to a both or find my own? 

"Hey!" I herd a voice yell from across the place. It was Missy and Jerrie was right beside her. So she looked back for Jack to tell him she was going to sit down but he already was ordering across the room. So she pulled a chair over to the both. They both looked good. They looked as boys and girls. It's not fair!

"How did you do?" Jerrie asked. "I sold 20 of 'em." She said with a grin.

"I sold 12." I said with eyes on down. When I looked up I saw Jerrie laughing so I hit her playfully.

"Ow! I sold 24!" She said.

"I sold all of 'em." A voice said 'cockly' behind me. It was Amber. She moved Missy over and sat beside her. "I like this job." She continued.

"Order 93." The cook yelled. Jerrie got up and brought back a hamburger and 2 orders of fries. She cut hamburger in 3 pieces. I don't eat meat.

"You don't eat meat. What are you a goil?" A voice said behind me.

"What no!" I shouted. "I mean I am allergic."

"Um, ok." The boy said. I think his name is David but I don't know. And he turned back to his poker game.

"Oh yeah," I whispered to them stuffing fries in my mouth "Were from Denny Arizona, it is close to New Mexico, and we have no siblings, and we moved here 4 years ago. But everything else is true." I turned as I thought somebody said my name. I scanned the room but nobody was looking at us. Geese, they were all cute. But we are supposed to be guys. 

You know that feeling when you get the best idea in the world? I love that feeling. And I got one.

"Amber," I asked because she was the one who remembered everything "What is that kid's name over there?" I asked jerking my head toward the kid with all the muscles. 

"Um, Mush." She said barley looking up from her hamburger third.

"Yeah, hey um, Mush?" I asked. He looked over.

"What?" He asked turning to me.

"Where do you'se guys go at night. You know after work. For fun." I asked. How come every time I talked to guys I sounded stupid?

"We usually hang out at the lodging house but tonight we'se going to the new flick on the Myer street theater."

"Oh cool thanks,"

"Are you going?" He asked as I began to turn around.

"Oh maybe." I turned back to the table and the girls huddled around me. They knew me well. They knew I had a plan.

"I'll tell you later." I whispered. And we talked a little more before Jack came over and told us we better get back. 

I sold all my papers with Jack's advise. I still am not that good at it. I am on my way back home. Oh no, it is getting kinda dark. I started analyzing the people around me. It is a weird habit of mine. There is a young couple walking down the street. They look nice and in love. I hate them. I wish I was normal like them. Amber could have been normal. She had the normal suburban family. But she ran away for a reason unknown to me. It kinda pisses me off. She had it all and didn't like one aspect of it and ran away. A gangster walked by my left side. He might have had a childhood like me. My parents left me when I was six. I was raised by Amber's and Missy's parents. Jerrie didn't have parents either. I met her at Shady Pines. A re-hab center. I am not completely sober but I don't drink like I used to. Jerrie is though. When you live a new place every couple months you tend to turn to drinking. Then on my right comes a businessman talking to what I think is his wife or daughter.

"I am sorry I can't make it to her birthday party honey but I have a meeting" But he got out of my listening range so stopped listening. How can he just discard his family like that? That is how Missy's parent's were. That was just like her dad and that drunk was just like her mom. They occasionally did the parent thing for her, me and Jerrie. They died when her mom was driving drunk back from a late night business dinner. It happened on the Brooklen Bridge. She won't go over it. That is when she moved in with us. We are all 16 and are not allowed to live alone. But what the freeking government doesn't know won't hurt them. Let's just say Amber can pass for 18. With the right fake credentials.

Here is the old brick building. I ran up the 4 flights of stairs. Everybody was already there and in girl clothes. 

"That wasn't that bad of a day what is?" I said apparently to loud because we heard that familiar knock from the wall.

"Sorry Mrs. Kirchoff!" We all yelled at the same time. 

"No it wasn't too bad." Missy replied. "At least we met some guys."

"Yeah but it isn't like we can get with them. They would think were gay." Amber groaned.

"Not really," I said referring to my plan I made earlier at the Tibby's. "All we have to do is hang around them at night. As us. The real us." Everybody was quiet so I think they like it. "Ow!" I yelled as a pillow hit me in the head. "Jerrie!" I said as a natural reaction. But it was Amber.

"That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard!" She yelled. The knock on the wall. "Ugg! Sorry Mrs. Kirchoff. Gwen, don't you think they know our faces?"

"Not if we use make up."

"All of our make up put together doesn't make enough to cover one of us!" Missy joined in on the fight against my brilliant plan.

"Actually Gwen might be on to something here. They have free samples in the store on Myer's street. If somebody distracts the attendant we can steel it." Jerrie surprisingly joined in with me.

"Well actually I meant use it." 

"That works too." She retaliated. And Amber and Missy finally agreed to it. And we did the plan. They all looked good on the way to the movie. I looked but-ugly as usual. Maybe I was just being hard on myself. Everybody else said I looked good. But then again they are all my friends. 

We got our tickets and made our way to the movie room. There were three seats in the middle of the guys. Oh god! It is Jack! Oh he is so cute. When they all noticed us they took off their hats and made room to our seats. And it was Jack and Mush who first got in the chairs in front of us and turned around. He picked up Amber's hand and kissed it. Ugg! She smiles and blushed. 

"Hey lovely ladies. I'm Jack Kelly. This is Mush. Who are youse goils and why are you here to grace us with your presents?" I was about to open my mouth when Jerrie opened her mouth and answered! I say it again if I am not the leader I am nothing!

"I am Missy, this is Jerrie, Amber, and Gwen." She smiled

"Why Missy I love your dress," It was white short and mine! "It is a little crowed here, would you like to move towered the back with me?" Race asked not even hiding the fact he was looking at her chest. The only reason he picked her was because the dress she had on reviled her chest a lot. She looked at us for approval. I nodded.

"Why sure Race." They all looked at her! He hadn't said his name yet! "I uh, I heard everybody saying your name as we came in." They apparently approved of her reply and they walked over to the back of the room. I quietly groaned. The movie didn't start for a while. The next move maker was Mush.

"So uh, Jerrie, that is it right?" He was having trouble so she helped him out.

"Yeah, say would you like to escort me to the popcorn stand?" She said getting up. He agreed and they walked away. It is only me and Amber. 

"Hey Skittery wasn't Jeffery and the gang gonna show up tonight?" Jack asked.

"I guess they didn't show that's all." He replied. Jack is about to say something. Is it to me or Amber? Oh God let it be me!

"So uh," he started. Just spit it out Jack! "So Amber," I didn't listen to the rest. I just tuned him out. My heart sunk like a stone off of the Brooklyn Bridge. She isn't that pretty. What am I saying, she is! Ugg! Guys are so shallow. I think Blink started over to me. But the movie started. I looked and say all of my friends making out. And I thought of me. A solitary lonely me.

~~~~*~~~~~~~

I lay in bed. I think it was 11 and I had to get up in 5 hours. I was tired but I couldn't sleep. That night everybody came back giggling. Blink did make a move on me after the movie but I almost flat out told him I wasn't interested. But everybody else got a good night kiss. And then some Jerrie told him we would meet them at Tibby's the next night. That was going to be a long night.

You know that feeling when it is late at night and you can't close your eyes. When you can't get asleep and you're problems in the present and your problems in the past keep running through your mind and you can't sleep? Do you know that feeling? I hate that feeling.

  
  
  
  


I won't continue if I don't get at least some reviews. And I want to continue. So please review! But I won't continue if nobody likes it. If only I can figure out how to add chapters.


	2. Enter Spot

- I know a line is from Hailie's Song on the on the Eminem Show cd but it fit so I stole it. It isn't mine though.

-Opps. I forgot my disclaimer last time.

-Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Amber, Jerrie, Gwen, & Missy.

-Sorry if I get some stuff wrong, I have only seen the movie twice. Once was a year ago.

-Sorry if I made you think Spot came in at the beginning, he does not come in till page three, but the story is good so just read it! He will be in other stories of mine.

-Thankyou so much Anne K. Letoile, Sugar, Lucky You, Gemini Kelly, brittany, anonymous, Bird, robyn:, TaurusPrincess, and finally Flittery H, for reviewing my story. You guys made me feel so good! I love all of of your stories that I have read. 

The days continued just like that. Boys in the day, girls in the night. And by the second month it started to take its tole. We got to bed at midnight every other night and woke at six except for Saturdays. Most of the newsies took Saturday off. 

"Ahh!" I screamed as I entered the shower. "Jerrie stop taking such long showers!" I was referring to the hot water being out. It was turning into early November and cold out. It hadn't snowed yet. 

"Were all waiting on you Slacker!" Amber shouted to me. A thump from the wall. It was Mrs. Kirchoff telling us to quiet down. "Sorry Mrs. Kirchoff." I quickly turned the shower off and grabbed a towel to wipe off all of the cold water off of my shivering body. I went over to the clothes pile and got some guy clothes. The warmest ones I could find, but they didn't really do the job of keeping me warm. 

"It is about time." Said Missy as she rolled her eyes.

"Well If somebody," I said looking at Amber, "woke me up I would have been ready sooner." I smiled at her. She is like my best friend. I can't get mad at her even if she is going out with the guy I like. Who bye the way walks me to Tibby's everyday for lunch. 

We walked out the door, the stairs, and down the street. They are all going out with the guys now. Amber and Jack. Missy and Race. Jerrie and Mush. Gwen and well, Gwen. Guys would come on to me a lot but I just said I wasn't interested. I hope they all didn't think I was a lesbian. I just wanted Jack. Maybe I am just choosey. It is funny, they never ask if we can meet them in the day.

"So's Gwen you gonna come tonight?" Missy asked all nonchalantly. What? Of course is she on drugs? 

"Uh, yeah!" 

"Well I mean you don't have a guy and all so I thoughts you-" She continued. She had a way of making me very irritated.

"Well the Brooklyn newsies are going to be there. I could find somebody. Like that leader, what is his name?"

"Spot." Amber said.

"Yeah I could meet Spot." I didn't really know Spot. From the stories I have heard I didn't want to know Spot. Everybody seemed excited though. She lit a cigaret. Jack got her into it and she couldn't stop. They turned the corner and got in line of the D.O. Everybody was there. 

"Hey there Jeffs. Guys." Jack came and sat next to them. "Lookie at this 'Lion gets loose from zoo'. It'll be a good day boys." 

"Yeah I guess." I sighed. It hasn't been a good day so far.

"Are you guys comin tonight to the big meet'in?" David asked.

"No, we have to be in bed by 10 in our apartment building." Missy said. It was our usual excuse. I can't believe they don't know the difference between us yet. Guys are so stupid. 

"You'se ready Jeffery?" Jack asked. We always walked to our spots together. Ha Amber! He dose not walk with you. See there I go again. I am just so messed up. "You'se ok? You have not said a woid to me all day."

"I am just thinking ok." I paused, should I ask him? "Jack, I gots a question."

"Shoot." He said shouting out headlines.

"Ok, well, there is this goil-" I started but I got the impression he wasn't listening.

"Beware! Lion escapes from the zoo and Is rooming the streets!"

"I am talking to myself here."

"No, no, go on. There is this goil."

"Yeah, and me and Andy," (Amber) "both like her but she likes Andy. Should I tell her I like her. Am I not likeable?"

"Jeffery, you are one of my best friends and I just met you. I think you are more likeable than Andy. Don't get me wrong, I like Andy-" He explained. I was relived, I wanted to whip off my hat and tell him Jackey! It is my I love you! But I am not stupid.

"I know what you mean Cowboy. Lion rampage in the city!"

"You know I got a goil. I told you about those goils right?"

"Yeah you did." I slightly blushed.

"I don't know her a lot cause we'se just kissing most of the time. Here is my turn. See you at lunch?"

"No, I'm gonna have lunch with Andy somewhares. We got some shit to work out."

"Okay. Bye Slacker." It became my nickname. I was always late. He left and I went to my usual selling spot. 

"Fine then." I whispered to myself and I decided to stop selling for the moment being and go the diner she was to meet Amber. "Achoo!" I hope I am not getting a cold. It looks like it could rain. Or snow. I hope it snows it is so romantic. I think that is it. 

"Hey!" She was already there in a booth. Her hair down so I let it flow to my neck by taking off my cap. It was far enough from the d.o so I figured it was safe. "How are you selling?"

"Not so well." I said "Why did we have to eat here today?" I asked as a waiter brought by an order of french fries. The cheapest thing on the menu. We started to eat.

"Ok, Ise seen a picture of this Spot character were gonna meet tonight, and let us just say wow! I kneed your help. Here is the plan."

~~~~~*~~~~~~~

"Extra extra! Fire burns out of rage on Ellis Island!" How could she? 

"I'll take one." I mean I don't mind distracting Jack but-

"2 cents please." I don't think I can if I know what they are doing in the other room.

"Thank you son. Wait, where is it?" He can't be that cute.

"I don't see it!" Jack is like my best guy friend.

"It is right there." I said pointing without looking. But if I purposely told Jack, he would be with me.

"That isn't what it says whatever." He threw the paper at the ground. Amber always does this! She isn't happy even though she has almost everything in the world! I just santed to go home. 

"Achoo! God Dammit!" I screamed at the top of my lungs causing mothers to take their small children away from me.

"Wow, you could break glass with that yell." It's Jack! He is done I guess. "Not doing so well?"

"Obvisolly." I looked at him.

"Listen I have never really done this before but you sound terrible. You want me to finnish up for you?" He is so nice. But would guys say yes or no?

"Aw no, I'll be fine. ACHOO! On the other hand, could you?"

"Yeah, no problem. I'll give you the money tomorrow." So I gave him my papers and I left. I just want to sleep and I have a big night.

~~~~~*~~~~~

It was night the whole group ( Me, Amber, Jerrie, Missy, Jack, Mush, David, Skittery, Race, Blink, Cruchy, Dutchy, and Boots.) Amber was by Jack but I knew he wasn't what she was thinking about. Don't think Amber is a two timer, she has never done anything like this before. In fact she has never had a boyfriend before! 

We got to the pere overlooking the ocean. It was bustling with newsies from all over. It was supposedly a thing they had every year so they could sort out fights with words so New York

didn't become segregated. And it was like a big party until it began. 

"Jackyboy? Didn't you say Spot was going to be here?" Amber asked looking at me to make sure I was still going to go with her plan. I nodded and looked at the ground. Blink asked me if I was ok and I said yeah. I was hanging on him so I didn't fall over. I think I am going tp hurl. 

"Why if It isn't the dirt eaten, mud slinging, wossy, Manhattan newsies." I heard a voice playfully say. I didn't have to look up. It was non other than the infamous Spot Conlon. Jack was about to spit shake him when I found my opportunity to shine. I wanted to be the one in the spot light. I didn't like him, but for once I wanted my friends to be jealous of me.

"Oh! I am sorry!" I screamed as I lunged forward and 'accidently' tripped in front of him and held myself steady by placing my hand on his chest. I looked up into his eyes. Oh no! I was about to sneeze! I held it in.

"Oh, no problem. I am Spot Conlon." I said helping me up I flipped me hair. How do you flirt with somebody like him?

"Oh I know! Everybody knows Spot Conlon. I just hadn't heard how handsome you are. Jack why didn't you tell me?" I looked back at him but when I did I saw Amber's eyes pleading with me to stop like 'what are you doing.' "Spot I would love to hear, from you, how you managed to sell 200 papers on the hottest day in New York."

"I'd love to doll face but I gotta tawk with some people here. But meet me here in an hour. Come on guys." He said as they walked away.

"What the hell you doing?" Amber yelled at me in a high pitched voice. 

"Don't worry, I have a plan."

"Oh great! Another Gwen plan. Am I gonna get shot this time?" She sounded so mean. She has never been actually mad at me before. The last time I heard her voice like that was when I left her alone in Central Park at night. And she wasn't that mad. Is she PMSing?

"No, I won't show up in an hour, I'll be entertaining Jack, but you will here and Spot probably not even remember me." I just wanted to show her I could get a guy to. I am so stupidly jealous. I would just end up in his collection of girls anyway.

The rest of the night went as Amber planned. I was sitting on the edge of the dock as Amber and Spot were doing God knows what in a life boat room. 

"And he was standing right behind me." He laughed. Oh no. I wasn't listening. So I just laughed. "You know I never have conversations like these with Amber." Oh my God! He is having fun! Does he like me? They have been in there for a ling time.

"So who do you hang out with at work Jack?" I had to ask.

"Oh this kid named Jeffery. You'd like him but he don't come around a lot at night. I think you'se two would really hit it off." It is taking every muscle in my body to refrain from laughing. "So where do you think Amber is?" He was thinking of her. Wasn't he having fun with me?

"She said Spot was taking her of a tour of the shops." I quickly thought.

"Aw, I could have done that."

"Achoo!" I yelled.

"Cozoontight." He said then his face got really soft like he was thinking of something. Oh no! What am I going to do? So I shifted all of my weight to my right side and toppled off of the dock onto the sand below. He jumped off to get me. If I went forward I would have gone in the water. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. I guess the sneeze toppled me over. That is all." We climbed back up the dock just in time to see Amber coming back to us.

"Oh hi guys!" She said happily. I looked at her rumpled skirt and she smiled at me. Good thing guys are stupid.

"Bye Gwen. I loved talking to you." He said as they walked away. I just stared until they disappeared into the crowd.

~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

I am in bed again. I can't sleep again. Ugg! I sneezed again. If I told Amber her going out with Jack bothered me I am sure she would stop. But he dosen't even like me. He likes the fake me and the lying me. 'But he said I loved talking to you.' Did he mean it? But I think I have made up my mind. I will tell him I like him. I just don't know when.

I act like shit don't faze me, but inside it drives me crazy. My insecurities could eat me alive. But then I see my baby, suddenly I'm not crazy. It all makes sense when I look in to his eyes.  
  


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	3. A secret reviled

-Opps. I named the first two chapters the same. The first chapter was supposed to be named something like 'Cockley.' That was that stupid word I made up. 

  
  


-It is 11:30 pm so please don't get mad if I mess up.

  
  


-Disclaimer- I don't own. The four girls are mine. 

  
  


"Ahhh!" I yelled as I fell out of my bed. 

"Ahhh!" Amber yelled as I fell on her (we sleep in the bunk beds remember?) 

"Oh, God! Sorry Amber." I apologized. We were both now on the floor. It was the morning. Early in the morning. Missy was in the shower and Jerrie was out paying the rent to Mrs. Kirchoff. It was the perfect time to tell her how I felt. I stopped. I couldn't hurt my best friend like this.

"No, no it is alright. I uh, needed to wake up anyway." She said getting up. She helped me up. We both laughed. Now! Now I will tell her.

"Amber," I began "um, how was last night?" I lost my nerve. I can't say this to my best friend.

"It was great! Spot was great! Jack was great! I am in a wonderful place right now."

"You know you are just going to turn into one of Spot's many girlfriends." I said but quickly regretted it.

"Well I guess, and I always have Jack to turn to." She sounded hurt. She started to make her bed as I picked out the days clothes. I didn't want to take a shower sense all we had was cold water and I was getting a cold. Jerrie came back. 

"We'se officially poor again." She said always having to make a big entrance.

"Achoo!" I yelled.

"Gwen maybe you should go to the doctor." Missy suggested stepping out of the shower. 

"Oh yeah, and use what name with what money." I snapped back referring to my to my 'run from the law' if you will. Jerrie and I were caught stealing. She can run faster than I and she got away. I was in the refuge for a while but persuaded the warden to let me go. Hey! I am not proud of the way I did it. But I got out. Back to the present we were already walking over to the D.O. We were dressed for winter. 

"I think it could snow today." Missy exclaimed looking at the clouds. I hope it does. Snow is so romantic. I never noticed what a long walk it was from our apartment to the office. Maybe it was cause nobody was talking . 

"So everybody have fun last night?" I asked striking up a conversation. 

"Oh, I had a blast! Mush and I walked and talked all night. You looked board. I mean you don't have a guy." Ohh! She did it again. I wanted to trip her and see her pretty face on the ground. No! No I didn't mean that. What is wrong with me? 

"Yes I did Jerrie." I said between clenched teeth. "And I could get any guy I want he is just taken." Everybody stopped talking. Opps! People tried to walk by so we ducked by the wall. 

"What do you mean?" Missy asked. "Is it Race?"

"Mush?"

"It isn't Jack is it?"

"Never mind. Pretend I didn't say anything." I said rolling my eyes.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me Gwen." Missy shook her finger at me.

"Ow, now you are sounding like Amber's parents." I said rolling them again "Guys this shouldn't be a big deal. I mean how name you are thinking of something serious anyway?" I stumped everybody. I began to whisper as I saw some people I new across the street. "I mean Amber is cheating on Jack, Missy do you even know Race's last name?"

"Uh, Smith?" She stuttered.

"Of course you don't know you spend all of the time playing cops and robbers under the covers instead of talking."

"It is Higgens." Amber quietly said.

"Yeah and Jerrie you have not had a boyfriend more that 2 months. You know you are afraid of commitment. So my point is, who cares if I have a microscopic harmless crush on a guy. It will pass." I said going back to walking. I should be a lawyer. "Achoo." They followed me. Dammit. Now they are going to watch every move I make and see how I react with the guys. 

We finally got there. We were first and there was no line so I got there first.

"50 papes my good man."He still glared at me in a weird way before giving me my papers. After a moment he gave them to me. The guys came up as we sat down and cheched out the days headlines.

"Hey Jeffery," Jack yelled "We got's a new kid today. And she is gonna take your spot today okay?" A girl!? We all looked stunned. We stood at once. What the hell is this?

"Uh, Cowboy. I- we thought goils aint allowed to sell here." I stammered.

"Oh, They aint. But Ashley's just got us all star struck. Aw! Speak of the angle!" He yelled as we saw this beautiful tall, tanned, brown haired girl waltz in as she hugged almost all of the guys in there.

"Why I don't believe I have met you boys before." She said in a sweet tone. I could tell she was going to be a bitch.

"I am Jeffery. This is Brett, Andy, and Steven." I said coldly.

"Well it is nice to meet you gentleman. I am Ashley Farnsworth."

"Farnsworth. Sounds like a rich bitch name." Jerrie said looking up and down her. Her and her stupid little white skirt. We could have been the girls here. 

"Well, um, it is my farther's name. You might know him. Greg Farnsworth. The accountant on wall street. He runs the firm. I am just doing this for fun. You guys obvisolly are not. I could be riding my horses." She said as she got in line for her papers. But the guys let her cut. 

"Oh, here miss. You can have them for free." She got 50 free papers! I could if I wanted to. But we thought we wouldn't be allowed to sell. 

"You know on second thought, you can sell with her Jeffery and when I get done I'll come help." Jack mentioned.

"Uh," Amber spoke up for me. "Jeffery ain't exactly the best person to have her learn from."

"You wan't her to sell with you then?" Jack asked.

"No, I, I think Slacker can do it." She said turning away.

"Ugg! Whatever. Let's go." I groaned grabbing her arm. At least the girls are not trying to figure out who I like anymore. "Come on Cowboy!" I yelled from around the corner.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Boy you ain't the nicest person in the world are you?" She asked sitting down on a bench.

"No I am not." Not to tramps anyway. I said lighting up a cigaret, a nasty habit I picked up from the guys. 

"So how do you do it?" 

"Do what?" I asked coldly.

"Uh, sell newspapers simpleton." She said giving me a nasty look. I smiled at her. I wonder if Jack likes her.

"You read the headlines. People bye them. You thank them." I said. "Watch." I picked up a paper and held it in the air. "Huge lay offs at Baldacci factory!" Three people bought papers. She tried it.

"Mother gives birth to 2 pigs!" Five people bought papers. All saying how nice it is having a girl sell. Maybe I am just jealous. We could be great friends. My current best friend is sleeping the guy I am in love with.

"Here I'll tell you a newsies secret. You bend-" She stopped me right in the middle of my sentence.

"You know Jeffery, I don't think I need your help." Bitch! Ok I'll try to be nice again.

"So, how have you been doing?" I asked in a semi sweet voice.

"Great. I mean it is winter break is here and I don't have school in a couple weeks. I get all A's. You don't look like you go to school Jeffery."

"Well as a mater of factly I don't. I havn't sense I was 9. Thanks for asking."

"I didn't ask." Ok! Enough with pretending to be nice. This girl is gonna piss me off. She isn't even that pretty. "You know smoking makes you smell."

"Good for it." I said leaning against a wall. She threw it out of my mouth and on to the ground.

"You know if you never opened your mouth, were smarter, and had a good attitude, I might consider dating you." That is so grose! She is gay! Well she dosn't know that. I want so bad to pull off my hat and jokingly say 'kiss me toots!' Oh well I have learned to fight my urges. Most of them. Here comes Jack. He must be done selling. 

"Hey boys. Oh sorry, and lady." He said kissing her hand.

"Hey Cowboy, don't you have a goil friend?" Ha! She was finally speechless.

"Hey Jeffery. You know about searching through the cards right?"

"Uh, yeah. Let's go." I said, and it began to sprinkle rain. 

"Go where?" Ashley asked taking Jack's hand as we walked.

"Tibby's. We go there for lunch every day." Did I sound this stupid when I was new?

~~~~~*~~~~~~

We were at Tibby's. Me and the girls were at our table. Ashley was at the big table with almost all of the guys. 

"I am prettier then that." Missy said taking a sip of her soda.

"We all are." I said. Okay, maybe I wasn't but you know the feeling. Ugg! Could my life get any worse?

"Hey remember this morning?" Race asked leaning on the edge of out table. (We still have the same order of me on the end Jerrie on the left and Missy and Amber on the right)

"Uh, yeah Race it was just this morning." I said think how stupid guys are. And buy the girls looks they thought it too.

"About what you said to Ashley. You sounded, well you ain't," He whispered even more quite at this point, "gay are you?"

"No!" I shouted causing everybody to look at me. After a moment they talked again.

"Anyway I told him to give me back my purse and he did." Ashley finished her story. They laughed. 

"I didn't mean anything, I just- you know." He finished.

"Just," I thought quickly "Lay off me, a goil just broke up wit me and I on my was to beet up her new boyfriend. But I stopped for a hot dog. I lost track of time. I had a bad morning. And the goil I usually bang in da morning wasn't there." He left apparently accepting my remark.

"A little to cockly." Jerrie joked. We all laughed. It was a nice reminder of the first day a fem months ago. When my only problem was when my shoes were to small. 

"I'll be right back." I am not sure what I am about to do is smart but, I excused myself from the table and walked over to Jack. "Jack can I see's ya for a moment?" He agreed and we met each other in the front of the joint.

"Hu, it stopped raining." He said looking at the sky.

"Jack can, uh, can you take Ashley for the afternoon? Achoo! I have uh, stuff to do."

"Sure!" he said smiling.

"And no funny stuff!" I pointed at him warningly.

"Hey us guys gotta look out for one another. I ain't gonna muss wit your goil!"

"What! No, no! She ain't my goil!" This is just weird! I am a girl! I am a girl Jack and I love you! Let's run away together! I have said it over and over in my mind I just want to say it out loud. I sighed. "Jack I have something to tell you."

"Yeah what is it.?" He said lighting up a cigaret. He offered me one and I accepted.

"You promise you won't be mad?" I asked. I looked at him deeply for a moment. He laughed at me. 

"Ever sense I have known you Slacker you ain't never had anything to say that was that important." 

"Yeah well this is." I snapped a little angry for him not taking me for real. "Maybe I have not had anything important to say cause I ain't been completely honest wit you." He glared at me. Oh my God! I was going to tell him. Well I was going to tell him if right then all of the guys rushed out of the door including Ashley.

"Wait up Ashley I am selling wit you now." Jack said not taking his eyes off me.

"Come on silly. We sill miss the selling time." She said grabbing his arm and pulling him out of sight. I was close. So close. And I lost it again. 

"Wait Jeffery," He yelled before he was entirely gone. "Meet me in front of the LH at 6:00 tonight!" And he was gone. I went inside, picked up my papers off the empty chair and started down the awful lonely unfair road to my old selling spot.

~~~~~*~~~~

"Extra extra mother died when giving birth to triplets." I sighed slouching on the park bench. "Somebody please buy a paper?" I asked. "Please! The guy I am in love with is with my best friend." An old lady stopped by.

"I am sorry to hear that little girl." She said looking sorry for me.

"That isn't the worst of it," I began "I have to pretend to be a boy to work with them. It was my idea to see them as girls and," I said the whole story. And by the time I finished at least 10 people were there. "So I was going to tell him when Ashley took him away to sell wit her. And now I am meeting with him in a half hour. I don't know if I should tell him the truth."

"I think you should." The same old lady said to me.

"Well if she does that," A father who came in at the part when I was talking about the word 'cockly' contradicted her "She might be shunned out of his life."

They got in a huge argument. Other people joined. At least I got about 2 bucks sympathy money. 

"Hey hey hey!" I yelled stopping the yelling! "Stop! I have to go!" I finally got up from the bench and ran to an ally.

I looked up. 5:55. I got up. I walked toward the LH. I got there and say Jack facing the other way. Great! Everybody else was there to . Just talking and stuff. 

"Where is Ashley?" I asked. I hope it wasn't to clear I had been crying. 

"She left." He said.

"Jack Kelly," I said stalling. I wanted something to happen, anything to happen. A fire, a flood, an earthquake anything. "I uh, I have been holding this in for a while."

"What is it Jeffery, it looks like it could rain?" I shivered and looked at the cloud covered sky.

"Do you know how it feels to keep secrets?" I asked not wanting to look him in the face.

"No." He said it to quickly.

"Everybody has secrets."

"Not me." He said "Listen is there a point to all this?" He asked looking away.

"Yes there is. I am getting to it." Nobody else was listening. There were busy with there own shit. 

"Den get to it would ya? I got a date wit Ashley in an hour."

"I thought you was going out wit Amber?"

"I was, You gotta search through the cards. I've already told ya that." Amber looked up. She was about to run away but Jerrie and Missy kept her there. They finally got the just of what I was going. Amber nodded but Jerrie and Missy shook their heads. That was the last straw. I know Amber has kind of hurt him. He can hurt me but not my friend.

"Jack," One bye one everybody faced us. One by one snowflakes started to fall. A big circle was around us. It was cold. "Jack you don't know, as a matter of fact I don't think you can even comprehend how much pain you have caused me. You have made my life complicated and I think I am about to make your'se a lot more complicated too. You can hurt me all you like but when you start doing it to my friends," I started to cry "I can't take you anymore. Sometimes I want you to drop dead. But I look into your eyes and I just want to melt into your arms and hold you forever." Just then the wind picked up and I watched my hat fall to the ground letting my hair fall over my neck. I looked up into his eyes. His cute confused eyes. The circle widened around us leaving Amber, Missy, Jerrie in it to. They one by one took off their hats. "I am so sorry Amber."

"You," Jack said coldly at me. I searched his face for emotion but all I could find was pain and betrayal.

"Jack Let me explain," I pleaded.

"You have said enough." He said. The only thing colder than the snow was his face. He hit me. A girl. I fell to the ground. I didn't want to get up. I just let the cold show engulf me. I want to die.


	4. But I love you!

-Sorry I have not written in a while. It has been so busy here.

  
  


-I am also writing The Adleshaw. Go. Read it.

  
  


-I have stayed up to 2 in the morning watching the x-files (A friend got me obsessed 2 days ago) for the past 2 nights and I am not fully uh, well. So please bear with me. And my awful spelling abilities. 

  
  


-Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Dut anyways, I don't own it.

-I know it was short but I am not an my computer and I am just not feeling it. It is not my best work. If you do review (please do) can you wright what chapter you liked the best? Thanks.

  
  


It had been 10 hours. It was 4 in the morning. We left in 1 hour. I was in the snow for what I think was an hour and the girls got me up. I am sitting up in my bed, a blanket over me. None of us had said a word. They were getting ready. Missy was changing. Amber making the beds and Jerrie just sitting there. They are all in girls clothes. No use in lying even more. Pants onto my head.

"Get dressed." Jerrie simply said. They expect me to go?

"No." I threw them back at her. Was it right I exposed all of them too? "I ain't going."

"Yes you are." Missy said dragging me out of my top bunk.

"Ow!" I hit the floor with a loud thunk. The infamous thump from Mrs. Kirchoff. "Shut the fuck up you old bag! That is louder than us! I am surprised you can here anything you wrinkle monster!" My anger turned to tears. Nobody went to consol me. I mean I don't expect Amber to come over here and hug me or anything but still. I got up and Jerrie forced clothes on me.

We got outside. What if I try to rush back in? It didn't work. Nobody said anything.

"Achoo." No God bless you. No nothing. We were almost there. Everybody started slowing their pace. 

We all stepped up. Everybody slowly turns to us. 

"Let's uh, get in line." I stuttered. I take it they made the exception and we can sell here. Nobody said a word until Miss bitch Ashley entered. She has apparently been informed.

"You looked better as a boy." She said getting into the line.

"Listen Ashley I have been enough hell with in the last 24 hours and I don't need your shit Bitch." I said my pain turning to anger again. 

"I guess your right. I mean your life id hell. You look like that, you live on the street, the guy you loves wishes you were dead." She licked her lips. I was about to retaliate when none other than Amber spoke up.

"Yeah, so she has had it hard. At least people love her at all. You, your own father doesn't love you. That is why he buys you everything. He doesn't love you Ashley." With that Ashley walked over to Amber and slapped on her left cheek. A red mark formed. The next thing I herd was the sound of Ashley falling to the groung after my fist flew into her pretty face. She got up. All out war raged on. Just me and her. And I was kicking her ass. But she had nails. The guys just watched. And my friends did to. I didn't know I was crying until the salt of my tears stung mu cut on my right cheek. Enter Jack. He stood up on a couple crates.

"Hey Ash! Uh, Gwen." He doesn't know what to call me. "Stop!" She got um, primped herself. 

"Uh! Jack it was awful. She told me she was jealous of me and she just jumped me! I tried to defend myself." She said crying running up to him and embracing him.

"Is that what happened?" He looked around at everybody. Nobody spoke. I must took patheditic

I was half lying down on the snow covered ground . Blood and tears streamed my face.

"No. She said something, I said something, she hit me and Gwen hit her." Amber spoke up. Was she defending me? 

"Ashley I think you should leave. This isn't a place for you." He said still staring at me. He kind of pushed her away. "Go." He went to get his papers.

"100 papes." He said to Wesel not taking his eyes off of me. He started to walk away. 

"Amber I-"

"Don't worry, I know. Go get him Gwennie." She said. We hugged. And I ran after Jack.

I caught up to him in a busy street a good half mile away from the D.O. The sun was coming up and the fog disappearing.

"Jack! Let's end this all now! I love you. Let's run away. To- to Santa Fee." I pleaded tears streaming down my face.

"Who said I loved you. I don't know anything about you Gwen. You lie. You lie a lot." he said turning away from me. I can feel the coldness of his eyes even though he was turned away. "Just because you have a crush on me doesn't mean everything is perfect."

"You don't understand." I want to tell him everything I had been feeling over the past months but the words wont come out.

"How can I understand when you won't tell me the truth?" we ducked into an empty ally because people started giving us looks.

"I have told you the truth." Nobody spoke. "Missy and I are cousins." I said shyly. I told the truth. Sometimes.

"No you said me and Steven are cousins. You don't get it. I have gone through everything in my life time and I don't need-"

"You have gone through everything?" I asked getting angery. "I have been to hell and back. Repeatedly. And the past months with you have been worse."

"Well if I have made your life living hell why do you want to be with me."

"I thought I have made that clear dumb ass! I love you!"

"You keep saying that but if you really loved me you would want me to be happy. And let me tell you," He said pointing at me. "Seeing you is NOT making me happy." It started raining.

"What if we started over. Or, or worked everything out?" I suggested. I think he is crying to.

"We can't. I could never be with you," He said getting close to me. "You make me sick knowing how you lied yourself and your little friends into my life." I slapped him. At least I didn't hit him. 

"Bastard." I whispered. "I love you and you can't accept the fact I screwed things up a little." 

"I just want to be something we will never be."

"Oh yeah, and what is that?" I asked staring him straight in the eye.

"A normal couple." He whispered to me. "Every time I see you I want hold you in my arms forever but think I could never be you knowing you lied to me." It sounded familiar. 

"I have a plan. You kiss me. You will forget any pain I caused you and I will forget any pain you caused me! In that one moment we will be a normal couple." 

"What happens when we stop?" He grabbed his papers and walked away. I just stood there in the freezing rain sobbing for a moment cursing the Lord and why he did this to me. Then I felt a strong pair of arms spin me around and his soft lips slowly grasp mine. And I was right. Every moment I have even doubted him melted away and we just stood there. Just him and I ready to face the world. But it had to end. We just stood there. As it began to snow we left hand in hand to the lodging house.

"If we'se gonna be together I don't want you 'searching through the cards Cowboy." He laughed. They laughed. And Gwen was finally happy.

You know that feeling when you wake up in the middle of the afternoon and you haven't quite opened your eyes yet? And you can slip in and out of a dream world you control? Do you know that feeling? I love that feeling. In my dream world I am in the real world. I love to open my eyes and see his loving face staring at me from the other side of the bed.

  
  


-Just an epilog left folks!


	5. How it ends. (Unless you want more!)

"Amber, Amber and I don't really anymore. I heard she last moved to Brooklyn to be with Spot. I say hi to her when I walk down the street. It is kinda sad, our life long friendship was destroyed over a guy. But I guess if she wanted to see me she would make more of an effort.

Jerrie and Mush. Very in love. They took the apartment and he is living with her right now. They both sell and I hang with Jerrie all the time. I think were closer than before.

Missy. Missy is not selling anymore. She is still dating Race and he is still selling though. Missy got a job writing as the Post and is, well, quite rich. Let's say she helps Jerrie and I money-wise. 

Ashley. No clue. Frankly, I don't want to know.

And as for Jack and I. You would have to ask him. But you can't cause he is out buying me a present for our one year anniversary."

  
  
  
  


-Thank you everybody so much for reviewing. And 'Lucky You' thankx for reviewing 4 times. I am writing a huge adventure and thinking about a (don't laugh) Newsies, X-Files cross-over. Please tell me if you would read it.


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